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Post by Poopface on Jun 30, 2020 6:24:25 GMT -5
I don't know about anyone else, but when I'm not swamped with work, dealing with family issues, or having any number of oddball things come up in my life (my 4 yr old went to bed with all his stuffed animals crammed inside his pajamas the other night) I tend to wonder about strange things.
As the George Carlin quote in my sig line says, "It's things like these that kept me out of the really good schools."
Why is it that when a BandAid starts comes off, you only get that weird funky black stuff around the edges where the adhesive had been? If it's really sticking to you, how would gunk get under there to turn it black?
Corollary: Why is it that only the edges of the adhesive are still sticky once the bandage comes off and not the entire bandage? The whole thing had adhesive on there. Why just the borders?
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Post by Poopface on Jun 30, 2020 6:31:14 GMT -5
When I was in college studying fluid dynamics, it occurred to me that if I really wanted to, I could calculate the speed with which I was peeing at that very moment.
I don't know what made me remember that just now. I wonder what made me think about that?
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Post by Poopface on Jun 30, 2020 7:05:20 GMT -5
If the story is truly never ending, does it really matter how far you've progressed through it? After all, "through" implies there is an end. If there is no end, there really is no "through."
Quite the conundrum. Which doesn't really exist since this is all just a stream-of-consciousness wondering of mine.
*I just discovered this option since my triumphant return. How in Sam Hill** did I never take advantage of this link before?
** Who is Sam Hill? What's so special about him that he gets his own saying?***
*** I want my own saying. I don't know if that'd be a good thing, though. It'd probably end up being like, "Boy......you sure pulled a Poopface there, stupid." Es no bueno.
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Post by Poopface on Jun 30, 2020 7:20:20 GMT -5
Where did the kid saying, "Liar, liar, pants on fire" come from?
Sure, it rhymes, but all sorts of sayings and songs have a backstory. Like how "Ring around the roses" originated back during the Black Plague and is about people dying horribly.
Did someone ever set a liar's pants on fire? Lord, I hope they weren't inside them at the time.
Maybe it's reference to burning someone at the stake?
Mmmm........steak........
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Post by SuperHero on Jun 30, 2020 9:59:04 GMT -5
WTH bro.....
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Post by Poopface on Jun 30, 2020 17:55:35 GMT -5
Hey! You! Get offa my cloud! |
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Post by Poopface on Jul 1, 2020 12:18:53 GMT -5
This is a bit of a delicate one for our < PG-13 ethos here. It's an idle thought, but one I have to be careful of how I present it.
「go solo」ing. Is there a right/wrong way to go? Uhm.....Forward vs backward? I know what seems to make sense to me, but maybe that's not a) the common implementation b) the "best" way to go. How would one determine what's "better," anyway?
Corollary: Are an even/odd number of.....um....movements predominantly evident? I can only imagine the absurdity of a statistician trying to evaluate that circumstance. How many data points would one need to have to develop trending data? Implementation would be really strange if you need witnesses.
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Post by Poopface on Jul 1, 2020 13:59:55 GMT -5
Regarding the sensation to go to the bathroom. Nature vs nurture? I think it's "nurture."
As adults (or near-adults in some cases, I suppose), we meander about through life and periodically think, "Ooew. I need to go find a bathroom soon." You try to hold it then take care of business* when you have your opportunity.
I think it's nurture because we all (well, maybe not Deadeye) get potty trained as kids/toddlers. If not for that, we'd eventually just do what we need to do when we'd need to do it. Like birds.
Still......an interesting thing to ponder.**
* Not like that you sick monkey.
** I wonder whatever happened to Christian Ponder. Is he still in the NFL?
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Post by Deadeye on Jul 1, 2020 14:26:19 GMT -5
I think I speak for everyone that can't post in here when I say...  ...what is going on in here?!? Though I'm sure this is actually a good thing. You're wife should be happy you have a vehicle for unloading these thoughts somewhere other than at home where I'm sure you see this a lot...  And as for potty training, it's way over rated. Would that horse in your avatar be as famous as he is if he was potty trained?!? Game. Set. Match! (I was amazing on the debate team in high school as you can probably tell...however, I could never win because I couldn't make it through a competition without peeing myself...) |
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Post by Poopface on Jul 1, 2020 14:39:41 GMT -5
So I just went to refresh a page here. I had the below message pop up in the bar at the bottom of my screen.
Let's unpack this whole "TLS handshake business." Buckle up your seatbelts, folks.* It's going to be a bumpy ride....
- So, this implies there are two entities involved. Do they really like each other? What if they don't and it's strictly due to some sort of social expectation? Who establishes the social protocols of the TLSs? What gave them this societal power? Could the TLS overlords (those lording over the TLSs) be overthrown? Overlord.......implies a sort of royalty? Could there be those knighted into being? Do their titles get handed down through generations as with those in the UK?
- Are the TLS people? If so, do they have to shake hands every time a page loads? My, that could get exhausting. You'd better hope one doesn't get ill with something. We're one nose-picking incident away from having the Forums rendered inoperable.
- TLS handshaking......are they adhering to COVID-19 guidlines? If so, from which country?
- Oh!!!! I might have read this all wrong. Are the TLS shaking hands with the forum? If so, how come nobody's shaken my hand? Which one? Are we observing handshaking protocols? How do they go shake hands with, say, SuperHero who's asleep at this very moment (or should be)? Do they just barge in and wake him up? Maybe they just trust on sound sleepers, sneak in, shake hands, and saunter away with their mission accomplished and nobody was disturbed in the process.
- It says, "Performing...." Is it something that's done on a stage? Is there an understudy? What type of performance is it? Is there dialogue (I added the "ue" for the non-Americans. You're welcome.) involved or is mimery afoot? On that note.......
- What if they are amputees and need to shake with their foot? Would the whole phraseology have to change to "Performing TLS hand/footshake......?"
- The phrase says "...handshake to war-robots-forum.freeforums.net" Why wouldn't it say "with?" Does the forum not want to be handshooken?*** Why not? COVID-19 paranoia, bad day, or is there maybe bad blood between them? war-robots-forum.freeforums.net, what do you have against the TLS?
- Orrrrrrr..........maybe a TLS handshake is a means of performing said handshake. Like it's some sort of secret society?**** Maybe it's like a mating thing birds do.
Gosh. I never realized IT is so complicated. Maybe that's why so many IT people are ill-adjusted to dealing with the rest of society. Poor souls have to constantly decode the forced communications of the mimed-out Street Fighter handshakes from their TLS overlords.*****
We need to form a support group for those poor folks working in IT. Since so many seem angry (or at least frustrated) all the time, we need to embrace them in all their quirkiness.
Call the group "Send Hugs to IT Sufferers." It would need some amount of donations to help defray travel expenses. I, for one, would proudly wear a shirt that said, "I gave to ?dookie?S."
* I don't know how many people may have seatbelts available on whatever they may be sitting on. Sure, if you're in a car, truck, airplane, or some tractors you can. What if you're walking down the street and reading the forums? How silly would that look as the new fashion accessory? I could see certain people (you know who you are.....) needing them whilst in the commode. The possibilities for discussion are endless. Hell, a kid sitting in a tree reading his phone (hey, it could happen) could have their life saved by a "seatbelt" keeping them in there.** I wonder if you could have a seatbelt for.......um......certain recreational activities. Boy, that would be interesting.
** I need to get into that as my "side hustle." "Seatbelts by Poopface" has a certain cachet.
*** Now I'm thinking about Street Fighter. I'll leave this whole thought process alone. This stream of consciousness thing already has me tired.
***** Maybe their secret society initiations are like in Animal House: "Thank you, sir. May I have another?" I wonder if they have secret decoder rings.
***** "Be....sure.....to....drink.....your.......Ovaltine?"
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Post by Poopface on Jul 1, 2020 15:43:26 GMT -5
So right above the "Create Post" bar -- hell, at the top of just about everything -- is a sentence that appeared during my haitus from the game.
So I work for the government* and acronyms are no stranger to me. Shoot, I actually worked on something that had its own compound acronym.*** That being said, maybe I'm a little slow**** but it just occurred to me that if you read it as a word, it would certainly seem to have the implication that the Mod Team has ?rooster? policies***** and that there is a new emphasis to require following them.
Hm. I'm not sure where to go with that. A few things come to mind, but my earlier post in this thread really wore me out.
I'll just say this. Having written at least one of the updates to that and having complete understanding of the spirit behind those "laws," I think I have a better appreciation for that particular acronym and, um, the certain part of the anatomy it resembles.
Namely, if you're found to be in violation of our CoC policies, moreover, if you're incensed by our increased vigilance in their enforcement it's because you're being a shvantz. I guess that acronym makes a lot of sense while giving you a chuckle.
* Yes, I actually can say truthfully that I work for a government agency.**
** Yes, they're as screwed up and inefficient as you think they are. Some are far worse.
*** The NCC, which is on the Hubble Space Telescope (HST) and went up as part of HST Servicing Mission 3B, stands for "NICMOS Cryogenic Cooler." NICMOS stands for "Near Infrared Camera and Multi-Object Spectrometer." Thus: compound acronym.
**** Okay. I'll admit it: I'm a lot slow.
***** Is that censored? I'm too lazy to check. Let's just say that it's another name for a male chicken and rhymes with "rock."
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Post by Poopface on Jul 2, 2020 11:49:32 GMT -5
"Food" is a funny thing.
We don't pay it a whole lot of attention because we eat it every day.* Many of us (particularly Americans) don't pay attention to what's actually in our food** or where the ingredients come from.*** We eat it because it's made and/or sold to us marketed as "food." And that's typically good enough for us.
All that being what it is, what about the history of "food?" Can you imagine being one of the first people to decide to eat a mango? Hell, there's plenty of stuff out there that's even worse. Let's talk rhubarb. From Wikipedia: How about that bunch of suck? Imagine being some poor sod coming home from surviving mustard gas, rats, trench foot, and shell bombardments only to end up dying from eating the wrong part of a plant you thought was food?****
What about sea urchins? You can only eat certain parts of the sea urchin or you die. But you can only eat certain kinds of sea urchin or you die. Ah, and let's not forget that if you eat the wrong color of sea urchin......
..........wait for it..........
You get an enormous erection.*****a, b Just kidding: you actually die.
How many different iterations did they have to have to decypher that particular puzzle? I mean, honestly. Is it THAT GOOD TO EAT? That's a lot of damned dead people figuring out the perfect mix of color, breed, and parts of the sea urchin to eat before you get to the part where it doesn't kill you. And let's not forget that you can't eat certain kinds of seafood if they put up too much of a fight ( amirite, mussels?).
So what happens once you finally break down that whole cryptographic nightmare? You season it wrong and its ruined. Let's assume you guess right. You finally did everything correctly. Sure, you killed off your whole frigging district figuring out the ABSOLUTE. CORRECT. WAY. to eat sea urchin. You did it. Congratulations.
There you are. Perfect weather. Soft music. Soft lighting. Sun setting over the beachfront horizon. Linen tablecloth and napkins. Perfect wine pairing.******** Perfect date -- sure, they're dead because you assured them on try 1,347 that you ABSOLUTELY had it nutted. At least you're together, though, even if they won't laugh at your jokes.*********
You finally sit down to enjoy your sea urchin. Pop it in and chew contentedly.
And it tastes like chicken.
* If you can't eat every day yet are reading a forum about a video game, your priorities aren't in proper balance. Seek professional help.
** You should. All those chemicals aren't good for you. Ever heard "you are what you eat?" All that carnauba wax might be great to put a shine on your rims, but nobody cares how shiny your liver is.
*** Also frightening if you think about it. Go watch Supersize Me. It's eye opening.
**** I think rhubarb sucks, personally. I'm not a fan of the texture of it once it's cooked.
***** a I wonder if "erection" is caught by the language filter? What about stiffy? My, the options there are endless.
***** b I can't help but giggle at the thought of this happening with a woman. "Hey Ethel! You need to try this sea anemone! It's TO DIE FOR!****** Wait. What in Sam Hill is going on with my lady-bits?!?" *******
****** "To die for." when I'm talking about eating the wrong kind of sea urchin. Heheheh, I'm so funny.
******* There he is again. Sam Hill. Why is he so dang popular in my colloquialisms?
******** Eh, maybe saki is better with sea urchin. I don't care. I'm not trying that stuff.
********* Jerk.
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Post by Poopface on Jul 3, 2020 10:17:07 GMT -5
I don't know the guy, never chatted with him, or played with him. I know he can be rather polarizing (for the life of me I don't know why as he seems quite inoffensive), but he seems likeable from what I can tell by watching some of his videos over the years.
In this particular livestream -- on a live server, btw -- it's been quite buoying to listen to the glee with which he triumphantly cries out, "Whipped by a Boa!" Or "Whipped by a Golem!" He's not just using cryo weapons, either. He's employing Redeemers, Embers, Exoduses*,** and the like.
With all the understandable kvetching about the Pixonic business practices -- the 6.2 pilot changes combined with a new slew of bugs are front and center -- to hear somebody actually enjoying themselves employing some of the simplest mechs available in the game is a good thing indeed. As I've been trying to show in another thread here, you don't just have to chase the meta to a) be viable in Champ league, or b) have a good time.
* What's the plural of Exodus, anyway? Exodii?
** Yeah, so I use the Oxford comma. Whachoowannado'boutit?
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Post by Poopface on Jul 7, 2020 5:35:29 GMT -5
"Morning breath" is an interesting thing.
I don't know about anyone else, but I brush my teeth before bed.* I think I do a pretty fair job. Some people use mouth wash on top of that. You go to bed with a reportedly clean mouth and a clear conscience.
So how is it that you wake up with breath that smells like you just provided one of those stem-to-stern makeovers of a manual laborer on a hot Houston day using nothing but your tongue to bathe and the gaps in your teeth as a comb? What causes that changeover?
I don't think it's the length of time since teeth-brushing. I've gone many many hours during the day without brushing without my mouth smelling like swamp gas. Likewise, it can't have anything to do with what I've eaten because I don't "sleep eat."*** Is this what I smell like when my tongue hasn't done anything for 6+ hours?
Come here, honey. Let's get to some snogging. You don't want me waking up with bad breath, do you?
* I wouldn't call myself a champion teeth brusher, but I think I do a pretty good job at it.**
** How would one become a "champion" teeth brusher, anyway? What does a teeth brushing competition look like? Is it set up where the results are objective or is it one of those subjective "sports" like gymnastics where your form is judged?
*** Ever seen people sleep walk? We caught our daughter doing it once. She was mumbling some pretty incoherent stuff. With sleep eating, are you eating as if you're pregnant? Chocolate ice cream and kosher dills? Wish I could have gotten credit for some of the nasty stuff my mom fed me as a kid by sleep eating it.
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Post by Poopface on Jul 7, 2020 6:27:04 GMT -5
My 4 yr old son is in the other room playing with his toy cars and gleefully singing some sort of made-up adventure-sounding tune borne of his own creativity. Although it's distracting me from my work senseless babbling, it does make me feel a bit warm on the inside* listening to him.
It reminds me of a stand-up bit Jerry Seinfeld did regarding things a kid can do that are cute that a grown-up can't get away with.
So there he is, my 4-yr-old happily making up his own little nonsensical songs as he's playing. What if somebody generally viewed as sensible,** say, your friendly neighborhood SuperHero started singing his own made-up stream-of-consciousness songs as he was going about his workday. Something tells me that would put a bit of a damper in his professional life. Might even bring about a career change.
What kind of respectable career bringing about a useful income would allow for nonsensical lyracy?
I'm thinking "professional jackhammer operator." My first thought*** was already claimed.
* No, it's not gas. This warmth is higher up.
**Did you think I was going to refer to myself? Missed that part where I said, "sensible" did you?
*** There is already one "Beyonce."
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Post by Deadeye on Jul 7, 2020 8:51:47 GMT -5
My 4 yr old son is in the other room playing with his toy cars and gleefully singing some sort of made-up adventure-sounding tune borne of his own creativity. Although it's distracting me from my work senseless babbling, it does make me feel a bit warm on the inside* listening to him.
It reminds me of a stand-up bit Jerry Seinfeld did regarding things a kid can do that are cute that a grown-up can't get away with.
So there is is, my 4-yr-old happily making up his own little nonsensical songs as he's playing. What if somebody generally viewed as sensible,** say, your friendly neighborhood SuperHero started singing his own made-up stream-of-consciousness songs as he was going about his workday. Something tells me that would put a bit of a damper in his professional life. Might even bring about a career change.
What kind of respectable career bringing about a useful income would allow for nonsensical lyracy?
I'm thinking "professional jackhammer operator." My first thought*** was already claimed.
* No, it's not gas. This warmth is higher up.
**Did you think I was going to refer to myself? Missed that part where I said, "sensible" did you?
*** There is already one "Beyonce."
Politician*...just sayin' * I don't think this is political since it's generally applied to all people in politics**
** See, you're not the only one who can use footnotes***
***  ****
**** Take that! It's a footgif! |
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Post by Poopface on Jul 7, 2020 10:34:13 GMT -5
My 4 yr old son is in the other room playing with his toy cars and gleefully singing some sort of made-up adventure-sounding tune borne of his own creativity. Although it's distracting me from my work senseless babbling, it does make me feel a bit warm on the inside* listening to him.
It reminds me of a stand-up bit Jerry Seinfeld did regarding things a kid can do that are cute that a grown-up can't get away with.
So there is is, my 4-yr-old happily making up his own little nonsensical songs as he's playing. What if somebody generally viewed as sensible,** say, your friendly neighborhood SuperHero started singing his own made-up stream-of-consciousness songs as he was going about his workday. Something tells me that would put a bit of a damper in his professional life. Might even bring about a career change.
What kind of respectable career bringing about a useful income would allow for nonsensical lyracy?
I'm thinking "professional jackhammer operator." My first thought*** was already claimed.
* No, it's not gas. This warmth is higher up.
**Did you think I was going to refer to myself? Missed that part where I said, "sensible" did you?
*** There is already one "Beyonce."
Politician*...just sayin' * I don't think this is political since it's generally applied to all people in politics**
** See, you're not the only one who can use footnotes***
*** ****
**** Take that! It's a footgif!I said "respectable."
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Post by Poopface on Jul 29, 2020 5:29:02 GMT -5
Music is quite an interesting phenomenon. What really gets one person amped creating a truly vibrant gleam in their eye will fall flat for someone else. It can bring about joy, anger, and sadness while triggering memories.
I picked up the notion somewhere along the line that there is a type of music that really resonates with us and it's what we really listened to in our formative years that holds firm. In my family, I've seen that absolutely be the case with me, my wife, and my dad. My musical tastes have always been rather eclectic so it's a certain type of jazz (early Miles Davis, Wynton+Ellis Marsalis, Ahmad Jamal are examples), hair metal + hard rock with a certain sound from the late 70's stretching to ~'91 (Van Halen, Poison, Ted Nugent, et al), and Rap + R&B from the late 80's into early 90's (LL Cool J, Tony Toni Tone, New Edition as examples). Decades later I still get grooving when I listen to that stuff and can't help but remember when things were simpler in many ways. I have some Mint Condition cranked as I type this up, for example.
Why does this happen? From doing a little reading, I think it has to do with triggering the adrenal gland. As "tweens," we're a bunch of hopped-up adrenaline junkies going from euphoria to crisis in the blink of an eye. I think what we're listening to gets blended into the amalgamation such that it resonates with us. When we listen to "our jams" that music functions as a tuning fork hitting a resonant frequency whereas other music may be nice, but doesn't trigger a reaction. I might be able to appreciate BB King, The Crystal Method, or Toby Keith, for example, but they don't really hit me like like something else that triggers an adrenal response might. My Prerogative puts me on the boardwalk in Ocean City, Maryland. Nothin' But A Good Time has me on a school bus in the morning going to middle school. Even listening Flamenco Sketches has me clinging to Miles Davis like ship debris in the eye of a proverbial storm in the student union of my college.
What an interesting thing, music.
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Post by Oliver Kloesov on Jul 29, 2020 8:11:54 GMT -5
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Post by Poopface on Aug 17, 2020 15:48:35 GMT -5
I've sat in a loooooooot of meetings in the last ~6 months. I've been in the center of a lot of messy discussions in that time and been swimming in some mighty deep waters with Center management.
I was extremely pleased when I had the realization that I was not squarely in the crosshairs for a change in my current meeting.
It bothered me not one iota as I idly blew my spit bubbles (camera was off).
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Post by Oliver Kloesov on Aug 26, 2020 9:47:39 GMT -5
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Post by Poopface on Sept 13, 2020 5:54:59 GMT -5
Why the hell do I have the chorus of theme song to Captain Planet going through my head on a rotation?!?
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Post by Poopface on Oct 1, 2020 6:20:46 GMT -5
Maybe it's my demented sense of humor here, but I was playing CODM last night with TheU and had a song* pop into my head. Me being me, I couldn't help but sing some of it quietly over Discord to my unfortunate clanmates. I get the oddest songs stuck in my head. At least this one was a cheerful one.
* First time around, that was "sock." Typing too fast and not entirely awake yet. That would have been an interesting conundrum. A sock in your head. Hmmmmm.**
** I miss C&C Music Factory.*** Hell, I miss early 90's music in general. It wasn't angsty. It wasn't angry. It wasn't preachy. It wasn't disgusting (you suck, Cardi B). It was just about having fun.
*** RIP David Cole
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Post by Oliver Kloesov on Oct 1, 2020 7:39:33 GMT -5
Maybe it's my demented sense of humor here, but I was playing CODM last night with TheU and had a song* pop into my head. Me being me, I couldn't help but sing some of it quietly over Discord to my unfortunate clanmates. I get the oddest songs stuck in my head. At least this one was a cheerful one.
* First time around, that was "sock." Typing too fast and not entirely awake yet. That would have been an interesting conundrum. A sock in your head. Hmmmmm.**
** I miss C&C Music Factory.*** Hell, I miss early 90's music in general. It wasn't angsty. It wasn't angry. It wasn't preachy. It wasn't disgusting (you suck, Cardi B). It was just about having fun.
*** RIP David Cole
And this is how ear worms are spread. Arrgh! |
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Post by Poopface on Mar 6, 2021 9:57:10 GMT -5
I think wiping with single ply TP must be like showering in prison.
You’re doing what you’re doing down there and then you got something in your butt involuntarily and you’re like, “what the hell? DAMMIT!?!”
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Post by Poopface on Apr 14, 2021 11:52:48 GMT -5
Every so often I see/hear comments referencing about how people seemingly lose their minds when there's a full moon. Today's one of those in the Poopface household. Daughter was drawn to tears doing schoolwork due to a succession of oddball situations. Also banished to her room multiple times thanks to some odd and inappropriate behavior.
Son #1 was brought to tears for similar reasons as my daughter.
Son #2 just got picked up from preschool and has been banished to his room for telling his mother she's annoying for asking how his morning was. I looked up whether there's a full moon coming. Nope. Not another week. I don't know what else could prompt this sort of compounding bizarre behavior from the kiddos but it's a strange day around here.
It continues....My daughter was swishing spit. She knows she's not allowed to do that. I told her to cut it out. She continued. She got banished. When my wife got home from picking up the preschooler and found out about the spit games, she handed a Dixie cup to my daughter and told her to fill it with spit. I live a glorious life.
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Post by Poopface on Apr 17, 2021 9:30:40 GMT -5
Took a family trip out of state this weekend. The only thing I said I wanted from the trip was to go to Waffle House.
What is it about Waffle House that makes me happy? I didn’t grow up with them. I make a pretty good breakfast of things roughly equivalent to what I get here.
Oh well. Can’t wait until my hash brown land in front of me.
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Post by Joopiter on Apr 17, 2021 21:55:46 GMT -5
One of my guilty pleasures...  |
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Post by Poopface on May 16, 2021 12:11:13 GMT -5
Sitting in a patio restaurant with the wife and kids waiting for our food. Suddenly our 8 yr old daughter starts singing with the 5 yr old shortly following suit. Wifey and I were confused until we realized what was going on.
Our daughter had heard “I can’t go for that” by Hall and Oates being played over the music system.
We ARE doing something right in raising our kids after all!
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Post by Poopface on Oct 31, 2022 10:45:34 GMT -5
Yesterday morning, my wife had a hard time waking up the 13 yr old. She's taken to lifting the dog* onto his bed to wake him up with an excitedly-applied smothering of kisses. She ended up doing a thankfully-pointless booty scoot.***
Once I found out, I -- being the supportive husband/father that I am -- looked up a kids poop song to editorialize. I found this on Youtube.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fast forward to today.
I had the text chat shown below with my wife this morning.
My household is a delightfully strange one.
* She was supposed to be a German Shepherd/Blue Heeler mix. She looks like a Shepherd/Dachsund mix.** ** Turns out that while it's Shepherd/Heeler as advertised, genetic testing has also revealed a sizeable amount of Chihuahua and Pitt Bull in there. Neither are known for being especially leggy. *** The dog, not my wife. I could see why that'd be a question.**** **** That reminds me: I used to have a friend whose younger son had watched a carpet-cleaning commercial which included a dog dragging 「bum-bum」. He decided to try it himself in an attempt to forgo needing toilet paper*****. My former friend was not fortunate to have the 「bum-bum」-dragging be "thankfully-pointless" unlike my dog. Ew.
***** They don't have three seashells, apparently.
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