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Post by Oliver Kloesov on Oct 31, 2022 12:56:00 GMT -5
One of my guilty pleasures...  HOW DID I MISS THIS?!!? WAFFLE HOUSE BISCUITS AND GRAVY!!!!! 
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Post by Poopface on Nov 3, 2022 14:05:57 GMT -5
How is it that Eric Clapton and Rod Stewart made such great music with Cream and The Faces then seemingly forgot how to Rock once they got into the 80s?
Corollary: WTH happened to Ice-T?
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Post by Poopface on Nov 5, 2022 12:29:15 GMT -5
Yup  |
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Post by Poopface on Nov 8, 2022 7:15:35 GMT -5
My family has chickens. Currently we have something like 9. It's hard to know because I haven't gone out and counted and because we've had a lot of upheaval this year: we had 12 then lost one from hypothermia then lost 3 in a fox attack then had 1 get aggressive so we gave her away to a friend got something like 5 more to try to fill out the flock, realized 3 were roosters and snuffed 2 of those. Good Lord, this seems like an elementary math question. "If Poopface has 12 chickens then......[snip] how many is this fool left with?" Anyway, I think that's where we are, but in this house I'm never completely certain this isn't some sort of odd drug experiment being performed on me.
So that brings us to today.
I was relating a story to my youngest two kids this morning of how we nearly snuffed our last rooster (Wifey was hoping he wouldn't crow much because she really likes "Handsome Rob") last night when he started going ape「dookie」 around 11:30 and were concerned the neighbors would go into open revolt.
My daughter said, "actually, our friend at school trained her chickens to know their names, to come, to sit......."
I live in a crazy house.
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Post by Poopface on Dec 28, 2022 17:13:03 GMT -5
Sometime last week my oldest son (13) asked me, "Guess what?"
Being a child of the 80's, I immediately thought, "Chicken butt" but wanting to stretch his brain a bit I replied, "Avian rectum."
He thought it was the best thing ever. I was amused with my quick response, but it wasn't that funny.
Days later -- including on Christmas -- he approached me with, "Hey dad! Guess what?"
Oh, no, I'm not supporting that in perpetuity. I just smirked and walked away.
Behind me I hear a muttered giggle followed by, "Avian rectum!"
That poor kid never stood a chance of being a "normal" child.
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Post by Poopface on Jan 25, 2023 5:42:01 GMT -5
I woke up with the theme from “Laverne and Shirley” going through my head. I haven’t seen that show in over 20 years.  |
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Post by Poopface on Feb 4, 2023 9:04:40 GMT -5
It’s amazing how much longer it takes to earn silver and then wait an eternity to upgrade War Robots gear (MK1, especially) when you aren’t buying resources.
I’d forgotten. 😬
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Post by Poopface on Feb 13, 2023 16:31:08 GMT -5
My house is a nonstop merry-go-round of oddities. Today is no different.
My wife sent me a video containing this screenshot. It could easily be titled, "You know your kids are homeschooled when...."
That's my oldest (13). He's wanted to do that since he first asked for an inflatable dino costume for Christmas. Actually, what he really wanted to do was walk the dog in the costume. Apparently, the dog (and our neighbor's dog) was freaked out.
She's afraid of everything, though
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Post by Poopface on Feb 13, 2023 16:36:46 GMT -5
Reading through a few prior posts on this thread reminds me of a chicken story from last summer.
We were on our way home from a friend's house who was hoping we'd take a rooster off her hands (in retrospect, it was like "rent-a-「rooster」" or some such thing). There we were, family of 5 plus a borrowed rooster in a dog crate driving my wife's van home. We ask the kid what to name him. All was going well until my child genius thought of a name.
"Let's name him Peckers."
Try as we might, Wifey and I couldn't hold in our giggles. And snorts.
Boy, was that the wrong thing to do around an incorrigible 6 yr old.
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Post by Poopface on Mar 11, 2023 13:13:29 GMT -5
We’re doing something right with the kids!
Out to eat at a restaurant and my 6yr old is singing along to “Sweet Child o’ Mine” and knows all the words.
There might even be a bit of air guitar, too.
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Post by Oliver Kloesov on Mar 11, 2023 23:09:22 GMT -5
Clockwise starting from upper left: John Belushi, Andrew Dice Clay, George Carlin, Archie Bunker, Eddie Murphy, Paul Stanley, Sam Kinison
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Post by Poopface on Mar 14, 2023 14:13:28 GMT -5
Standing around a crowded high bay trying to figure out how to shoehorn a metrology setup into the jammed workspace, one of the relatively junior optical engineers muttered, "we never were taught we'd be dealing with this sort of thing in college." No kidding, son. Virtually my entire career has been a cautionary tale of survival and persistence. A snarky sense of humor gets developed quickly.  |
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Post by Poopface on Mar 15, 2023 8:51:27 GMT -5
I can't get past the concept of " Youtuber" potentially referencing people that identify as a potato.*
* Sadly, I've been doing this oddball stuff since well before I had kids. I was cracking dad jokes before that was even a thing.**
** Pity my wife. Poor woman didn't know what she was getting into when she foolishly said, "yes." |
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Post by Poopface on Mar 24, 2023 7:23:56 GMT -5
The new Titan bubble guns in War Robots look really stupid. I’m sorry, but it had to be said. Its like the devs took the Snork swimming animation and added Airsoft firing sounds to it.  They might as well have just given them the Jetson car sounds. That’s all I have going through my head when I watch them shoot, anyway.  Hell, farting in a bathtub would be better than this. Oops. Gotta run. Here comes a P2W Champ deathsquad.  |
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Post by Oliver Kloesov on Mar 24, 2023 10:54:56 GMT -5
Oops. Gotta run. Here comes a P2W Champ deathsquad. AhHahahahaahAHAHAHahhahaah! Noice! |
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Post by Poopface on Apr 1, 2023 21:59:21 GMT -5
I was drinking wine while looking for a new job and I got snacky. Nothing was readily available or sounded good except.....
Yeah. I'm drinking Malbec and eating oatmeal. It's an odd life I lead.
Truly strange.
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Post by Poopface on Apr 7, 2023 13:28:31 GMT -5
So.......I can really relate to this. I feel like this is actually about me but is one of those “likenesses to people either living or dead is strictly coincidental winkwinknudgenudgeknowwhatimean?” things.  |
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Post by Poopface on Apr 9, 2023 8:46:50 GMT -5
Nice to see that the oddities in my family won’t end when I die. My oldest decided to shake up his Easter egg hunt this year.  |
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Post by Poopface on May 6, 2023 9:28:53 GMT -5
I know I hop in games and occasionally see names of players that I recognize. Some I see a lot. I have these thoughts of, “tanker,” “oooh this will be tough,” or “glad he’s on my side for a change.”
If I recognize them, odds are decent that I look at least somewhat familiar to one or two.
I wonder what they think about me?
I‘d be shocked if there weren’t at least a smattering of “I wonder what brand of 「fluffernutter」nuttery that fool is running this time?”
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Post by Poopface on May 18, 2023 13:25:16 GMT -5
While on a virtual one-on-one meeting with a lady coworker a moment ago, she mistakenly asked me, "can you get it up?" when trying to see if I could load a web utility. Thankfully, the pregnant pause from my end made her realize what she just said and since she has a good sense of humor and we've known each other for years we both got a good laugh out of that.
I'd hate to think what 25 years-younger me would have said. I had just about no brain/mouth filter at that age.
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Post by Poopface on May 18, 2023 21:04:08 GMT -5
I wonder what it is about Fall-like weather that makes me want a cigar. It’s currently just a shade over 60F, not too humid, and with a very slight breeze.
I’m sitting in one of my Adirondack chairs (made it 12 years ago and it’s still holding up!) with a beer and a dried out stogie enjoying myself.
Maybe it reminds me of all the camping I used to do. Maybe it reminds me of fire pits with friends before parenthood sapped my energy and freedom. Maybe the cigar is the final piece to get really good relaxation in weather that comforts me. Maybe it’s some or none of that.
All I know is when I feel this sort of weather, I want nothing more than this.
Well.....sex is good, too.
Oh Wifey! C’mere!
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Post by Poopface on May 31, 2023 5:58:38 GMT -5
A thought I’ve had off and on for about 10 years: If you did a really good job soaping your butt in the shower then farted, would it blow a bubble?
You wouldn’t believe the trouble I got in with my wife the first time that thought got into my head.
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