The New Seal Clubbers Guide, by Gr3ygh05t

My view on the clubbing phenomenon is that the new matchmaker has improved things but only slightly.

The old system just meant whoever had the five hanger Gep w/mag set up would run around and just rip everyone else apart and get a guaranteed 10 gold per match.

From my dalliance to try and get 100% victory, it seems the new system will allow level 30 pilots to flush their averages and then field Rhinos and Britbots against level 10 Molot Destriers which is far more vicious. I saw this a few times when I’d be running around in my Stalker capping beacons and chucking out the odd Aphid barrage and noticed all the blue dots vanishing whereupon I’d see a Lancelot in the middle of the battle nonchalantly taking fire from every direction as it casually obliterated my -100K damage average teammates.

But this rampant slaughter causes damage averages to skyrocket and if they want to do it again, they’ll have to spend lots of time tanking their averages (missing out on gold and lots of silver and basically not really playing). It’d take at least six battles of spawning, hanging around for a minute and then leaving to undo the effect of one seal club.

Even if they play it a little less recklessly as I was doing, situations arise where the reds get the upper hand and you have to let fly with everything you have in order to salvage the win, which then results in either having to play really conservatively (as I did, but I doubt clubbers have the patience or inclination to do so) or just tank a bunch of games to undo that spike in damage average.

So from what I’ve seen, clubbing has gone from being a mean moronic repetitive style of gameplay employed mindlessly every single match without fail with three mags endlessly going pew-prew-pew, to a less frequent routine of utter slaughter by diverse ultra power bots (you’ll have the clubber in tanker mode five games out of six depending on how hard they like to annihilate the opposition). The fact that it’s not guaranteed every single game makes me look on it as a minor improvement of the drudgery of the hordes of Geps w/mags.

I’d rather run around a corner and walk into the barrels of a Fury or death button Rhino in low level with a ‘Holy S#!t What the hell!?!’ than turn a corner with a groan of ‘Oh what a surprise, a Gep with three magnums. Pew-pew-yawn-pew’.

Of course, there was one match pre-new-MM when I was gold farming for Orkhans that I do feel a little bad about (I say ‘little’ because both sides were in complete disarray - they were treading all over each other to cap a single beacon or just wandering as though in a blizzard, meaning I had a ten minute killing spree on my hands).