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Post by [AurN]Zenotaph on Dec 8, 2016 13:35:12 GMT -5
A man builds a house. All four walls are pointing north. After three days, a bear shows up. What color is the bear?
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[AurN] perfectlyGoodInk
Aurora Clan Moderator
Posts: 729
Karma: 556
Platform: Android
Clan: leader of Aurora Nova [AurN]
League: Gold
Server Region: North America
Favorite robot: Bishop from Aliens, although WALL-E is a close second
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Post by [AurN] perfectlyGoodInk on Dec 8, 2016 13:36:27 GMT -5
White, but why you gotta be bringing race or sexual preferences into this discussion, man?
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Post by [AurN]Zenotaph on Dec 8, 2016 13:38:26 GMT -5
Wrong answer. It was just generic speaking. Could be anyone...
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[AurN] perfectlyGoodInk
Aurora Clan Moderator
Posts: 729
Karma: 556
Platform: Android
Clan: leader of Aurora Nova [AurN]
League: Gold
Server Region: North America
Favorite robot: Bishop from Aliens, although WALL-E is a close second
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Post by [AurN] perfectlyGoodInk on Dec 8, 2016 13:55:44 GMT -5
Oh, that was a bad joke, bears being slang for... oh, never mind!
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Post by [AurN]Zenotaph on Dec 8, 2016 13:58:49 GMT -5
Not a joke. It is a bear. But now you already killed the riddle.
The answer would habe been: There are no bears at the south pole.
Hope, you're happy now, thread-killer...
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Post by Strayed on Dec 8, 2016 14:12:46 GMT -5
A man gets pulled over for speeding. The sheriff ambles up, asks for license and registration. "I'm afraid I do not have it," the man replies sheepishly. "Why not?" asks the cop. "I, uh, think I left it at the bar. I get forgetful after a couple of drinks." "Sir, I'm going to need you to step out of the car." "No can do, sir. I stand up and the .45's gonna fall right outta my waistband." The cop is almost livid by now. "Son, what is wrong with you? What are you carrying around a loaded gun for?" "Well, the 「strong independent woman who don't need no man」's not gonna force herself into the trunk now, will she?" By now the sheriff is on the horn for backup, and half the city has arrived, complete with swat team and the Chief. As they've finished tearing his car apart - by the way, no dead 「strong independent woman who don't need no man」, he passed breathalyzer test, and his license was in the glove compartment - the guy is face down in the road in handcuffs, he turns to the Chief and says "Lemme guess. He probably told you I was speeding, too?"
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Post by [AurN]Zenotaph on Dec 8, 2016 14:18:09 GMT -5
I don't get it. I've read it four times, but it's no riddle for me...
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Post by Strayed on Dec 8, 2016 14:18:26 GMT -5
Three men and a woman were marooned on a desert island. After one week, the woman felt so guilty about what she had been doing that she committed suicide. After another week, the three men felt so terrible about what they had been doing they buried her. After another week the three men felt so terrible about what they had been doing they dug her back up.
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Post by Strayed on Dec 8, 2016 14:18:52 GMT -5
Oh, wait, thought this was a general jokes thread, lol.
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Post by [AurN]Zenotaph on Dec 8, 2016 14:20:02 GMT -5
And then I shoot him...
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Post by ł⸰§ĦȺĐ◎ŴƧŦḀɌ on Dec 8, 2016 14:40:16 GMT -5
What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no limbs?
[I better be careful, I could trade riddles for days, and that was before Goooooogle]
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Post by [AurN]Zenotaph on Dec 8, 2016 14:43:57 GMT -5
Google? Mankind is thinking no more. Mankind Googles...
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Post by ł⸰§ĦȺĐ◎ŴƧŦḀɌ on Dec 8, 2016 14:47:40 GMT -5
Little Johnny comes home from school one day, all flustered because he was given a strange homework assignment. He went to his father and said "My teacher told me to ask what is a 'RICHARD'?". The father has Little Johnny follow him into the bathroom, whips out his member, and says "See Johnny? This, is a perfect RICHARD!" Johnny nods and smiles and carries on.
The next day, on his way to class, one of his friends rushes him saying "Help, help! I forgot last night's home work assignment! Can you tell me what a 'RICHARD' is?" Johnny says 'No problem, follow me into the bathroom and I'll show you." Once in the bathroom, Johnny whips his thang out and says "So, if it were a little bit smaller, this would be a perfect RICHARD."
[EDIT]
HEY ADMIN! I noticed the new censorship. Medical and anatomic terms should not be censored. There is no possible way anybody could have been insulted or offended by the use that specific anatomic label, nor was the term used in any form of insulting or derogatory manner. Are you really that bored with your job as a moderator? The cowardice in the face of Political Correctness is disappointing.
「lightning rod」.
「wee-wee」.
Breast.
Nipple.
Boob.
Mammary Gland.
「meow」-cat.
Censorship is useless. See also, the replacement words are terrible and seems like they were picked out by a 5-year-old.[/]
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[AurN] perfectlyGoodInk
Aurora Clan Moderator
Posts: 729
Karma: 556
Platform: Android
Clan: leader of Aurora Nova [AurN]
League: Gold
Server Region: North America
Favorite robot: Bishop from Aliens, although WALL-E is a close second
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Post by [AurN] perfectlyGoodInk on Dec 8, 2016 16:15:26 GMT -5
A man walks into a bar.
"Ow!"
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Post by Strayed on Dec 8, 2016 16:24:56 GMT -5
Little Johnny comes home from school one day, all flustered because he was given a strange homework assignment. He went to his father and said "My teacher told me to ask what is a 'RICHARD'?". The father has Little Johnny follow him into the bathroom, whips out his member, and says "See Johnny? This, is a perfect RICHARD!" Johnny nods and smiles and carries on. The next day, on his way to class, one of his friends rushes him saying "Help, help! I forgot last night's home work assignment! Can you tell me what a 'RICHARD' is?" Johnny says 'No problem, follow me into the bathroom and I'll show you." Once in the bathroom, Johnny whips his thang out and says "So, if it were a little bit smaller, this would be a perfect RICHARD." [EDIT] HEY ADMIN! I noticed the new censorship. Medical and anatomic terms should not be censored. There is no possible way anybody could have been insulted or offended by the use that specific anatomic label, nor was the term used in any form of insulting or derogatory manner. Are you really that bored with your job as a moderator? The cowardice in the face of Political Correctness is disappointing. ?Pen?. ?wee-wee?. ?sack of fat?. Mammary Glands. Censorship is useless. See also, the replacement words are terrible.[/] *sigh* I dislike political correctness as well, but you have to remember that adults aren't the only ones who browse this site. The game is 12+, not 17+. |
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Post by ł⸰§ĦȺĐ◎ŴƧŦḀɌ on Dec 8, 2016 16:33:20 GMT -5
*sigh* I dislike political correctness as well, but you have to remember that adults aren't the only ones who browse this site. The game is 12+, not 17+. I understand that, but this is going too far. My 9 year old daughter knows what a ?Pen? is thanks to her state-sponsored public schooling, and knows how to use the word properly because her parents care. You are also editing my post, which I hate. This is *why* censorship fails, because you cannot create enough filters in order to sanitize all potentially offensive statements. OP, please accept my apologies for the derailment, I did not intend to create a train wreck, just to share a funny joke from my childhood. I will leave this alone before I open my big mouth any more and earn myself a banhammer... |
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Post by Strayed on Dec 8, 2016 16:36:04 GMT -5
Kids & parents differ from person to person. An asian parent, for example, usually would not want his child to learn something like this at nine years old. Please understand that cultures differ from country to country and that this is a world wide community. Also, you're not going to get a banhammer just for speaking your mind.  |
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Post by Strayed on Dec 8, 2016 16:37:45 GMT -5
*sigh* I dislike political correctness as well, but you have to remember that adults aren't the only ones who browse this site. The game is 12+, not 17+. I understand that, but this is going too far. My 9 year old daughter knows what a ?Pen? is thanks to her state-sponsored public schooling, and knows how to use the word properly because her parents care. You are also editing my post, which I hate. This is *why* censorship fails, because you cannot create enough filters in order to sanitize all potentially offensive statements. OP, please accept my apologies for the derailment, I did not intend to create a train wreck, just to share a funny joke from my childhood. I will leave this alone before I open my big mouth any more and earn myself a banhammer... Actually, I didn't edit your post. The censor works by censoring all instances of that word, whether the post was created before or after the censor was put into place. |
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Post by ł⸰§ĦȺĐ◎ŴƧŦḀɌ on Dec 8, 2016 16:46:21 GMT -5
NGAH! Belay that comment then, my apologies. My eyes tricked my brain.
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Post by Ron Gaul on Dec 8, 2016 16:49:38 GMT -5
What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no limbs? [ I better be careful, I could trade riddles for days, and that was before Goooooogle]A penny. |
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Post by ł⸰§ĦȺĐ◎ŴƧŦḀɌ on Dec 8, 2016 17:55:20 GMT -5
That is correct! ^_^
They have not flesh, nor feathers, nor scales, nor bone. Yet they have fingers and thumbs of their own. What are they?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2016 21:15:33 GMT -5
That is correct! ^_^ They have not flesh, nor feathers, nor scales, nor bone. Yet they have fingers and thumbs of their own. What are they? I'm a hard outdoor worker. Gloves |
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Scorpio Snow
Destrier
Posts: 108
Karma: 47
Pilot name: [2wik] Scorpio Snow
Platform: iOS
Clan: Wiklings [2wik]
League: Silver
Favorite robot: Any bots counter Gepard at Silver
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Post by Scorpio Snow on Dec 8, 2016 21:56:44 GMT -5
Gloves could have feather though. XD
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2016 22:17:14 GMT -5
Gloves could have feather though. XD Perhaps...only Inuit gloves.........  penguin feathers.... |
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Post by BLYTHE on Dec 8, 2016 23:05:00 GMT -5
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says, “I’ll have some H2O.”
The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O, too.”
Then he dies.
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Post by ł⸰§ĦȺĐ◎ŴƧŦḀɌ on Dec 9, 2016 0:35:44 GMT -5
Gloves! Chemistry... Hydrogen peroxide  Answers its caller without being asked. Responds within seconds, and speaks all languages with equal ease. What is it? |
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Post by BLYTHE on Dec 9, 2016 2:37:54 GMT -5
Answers its caller without being asked. Responds within seconds, and speaks all languages with equal ease. What is it? LOL, is it " HELICOPTER?" |
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Post by [AurN]Zenotaph on Dec 9, 2016 3:06:25 GMT -5
*sigh* I dislike political correctness as well, but you have to remember that adults aren't the only ones who browse this site. The game is 12+, not 17+. You know the difference when you're watching movies. 12+ the good guy gets the woman 16+ the bad guy gets the woman 18+ every guy gets the woman Hope, I'm not gonna get banned for this... |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2016 8:43:29 GMT -5
Answers its caller without being asked. Responds within seconds, and speaks all languages with equal ease. What is it? LOL, is it " HELICOPTER?" RIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Repeated at a distance (more of a hint) (im not sweedish) i just like the tv commecial. |
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Post by ł⸰§ĦȺĐ◎ŴƧŦḀɌ on Dec 9, 2016 11:37:48 GMT -5
Goatreaper is on track...
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![[AurN]Zenotaph Avatar](http://www.teeri.net/aurn/aurnlogo28feb1-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[AurN] perfectlyGoodInk Avatar](http://storage.proboards.com/6607038/avatar/40AmBXNiR1xsOVmOvxBp.jpg)
penguin feathers....
