Post by nocluevok on Dec 19, 2018 14:32:18 GMT -5
Me and my brother Clem was sitting on the front steps one Christmas Eve, sadder than a pair of blue tick hounds with nothing to chase. See, we hadn't gotten a deer that year, and everyone knows Christmas ain't Christmas without the smell of a deer roast cooking in the oven.
Well, sir, all sudden like, Clem hopped up and ran around the side of the house. He came back a few minutes later with the ladder and a long rope. He set the ladder against the house a commenced to climbing, dragging the rope behind him. I got a bit concerned when he sat down up there and began to tie what appeared to be a noose.
"Clem, this ain't worth killing yourself over," I said.
"I ain't hanging myself," he said without looking up. "I figured a way to get us that deer."
Without explaining himself, Clem made a big ol' loop in that rope and laid it out right next to the chimney. He climbed back down holding the loose end and hid in the bushes.
"Santa's gonna land up there, and when he heads down the chimney, we'll get us one of them reindeer," he said, matter of factly.
Now folks, I know exactly what you're thinking. Ain't no way on God's green earth, Santa would ever let THAT happen. The man ain't stupid.
So I found myself hiding in the bushes just to keep an eye on Clem, all the while trying to convince him it wouldn't work. Sometime later that night I was dozing off when Clem elbowed me in the ribs.
"Pull," he whispered, with a tinge of excitement in his voice.
I did.
Sadly, I can't report we caught us one of them raindeer. Can't report much of nothing, after catching an antler in my nether region and passing out. It's all good though. Clem has already ordered a better rope for next year.
Well, sir, all sudden like, Clem hopped up and ran around the side of the house. He came back a few minutes later with the ladder and a long rope. He set the ladder against the house a commenced to climbing, dragging the rope behind him. I got a bit concerned when he sat down up there and began to tie what appeared to be a noose.
"Clem, this ain't worth killing yourself over," I said.
"I ain't hanging myself," he said without looking up. "I figured a way to get us that deer."
Without explaining himself, Clem made a big ol' loop in that rope and laid it out right next to the chimney. He climbed back down holding the loose end and hid in the bushes.
"Santa's gonna land up there, and when he heads down the chimney, we'll get us one of them reindeer," he said, matter of factly.
Now folks, I know exactly what you're thinking. Ain't no way on God's green earth, Santa would ever let THAT happen. The man ain't stupid.
So I found myself hiding in the bushes just to keep an eye on Clem, all the while trying to convince him it wouldn't work. Sometime later that night I was dozing off when Clem elbowed me in the ribs.
"Pull," he whispered, with a tinge of excitement in his voice.
I did.
Sadly, I can't report we caught us one of them raindeer. Can't report much of nothing, after catching an antler in my nether region and passing out. It's all good though. Clem has already ordered a better rope for next year.